Christmas Travels for Family

I made it out west to be with Cherry and Xavier, and we've been on tour ever since. It's been refreshing to see all my far-flung siblings even though we ostensibly came out to have Christmas with Cherry's folks. We spent a day with Alyssa and Coreen after I got into Salt Lake, getting to spend the night at each of their places, seeing Isaac play as Joseph in a nativity presentation with his Joy School group, hitting the ward Christmas party and playing with the nieces and nephews. Plus, Alyssa made these awesome spinach balls that are sure to be a finger-food hit at many future social events, since pretty much everyone who tasted them asked for the recipe.

On Sunday we saw our good friend (and distant cousin) Russ on the way up through Salt Lake to Idaho, and he got to meet little Xavier for the first time too. He left DC while Cherry was pregnant so it was a treat for all of us to meet back up along the way. Sitting in Church singing the congregational hymns together made me miss the many many times we'd joined our voices in the past.

Fog enveloped the route to Rupert, but fortunately no snow, and we made a quick pit stop with Cherry's parents for dinner. With weather looking promising for our trip to Oregon, we continued on to Boise to stay the night with Karma, one of Cherry's friends growing up who was living out in DC when we got married but had returned out west.

Finally on Monday we made it out to Oregon before the storm hit, bringing at least an inch or two of snow and rendering the landscape even more enchanting. The bulk of my nieces and nephews are here and I'm amazed how they've grown, even in the brief six months since we saw them last. It required a good bit of travel, but I'm really glad we came, since moments together with Shannon and CarrieAnn's families don't come often. Amazingly, in only three months Xavier has already hit six states (half of them large western ones at that!). In January we'll add a seventh and perhaps eighth. Last night was filled with games and fun (and laundry, which needs to be done even on vacation when you've got a baby in cloth diapers). Today we're getting ready to build a gingerbread house castle, and Marc has engineered quite the fortress.

We're at the beginning of our life with kids, and it's interesting to glimpse at what life will be like in five to ten years as they grow in number and age. The holidays in many ways are more fun with children, whose excitement and activities make the season special. Last night we made clay ornaments, including one for Xavier's first Christmas: a footprint of his, now captured in time. He'll grow and our life will continue to change as the years go by, but that will remind us year after year of our sweet little child who was with us this Christmas.

Two Months and Counting...

Again, I can't believe I am only just now posting this! Xavier turned one month old on November 20, 2009 weighing in at 12lbs .5oz and 24 inches long. And he is getting more and more smiley everyday!

This month Xavier was blessed! This is him in his blessing outfit made jointly by my mom and a good friend.

The Second Month in Pictures

My boy is nearly three months old and I am just getting these posted! Enjoy!

Our baby just slept for six hours straight!

I believe this is his longest yet!

Xavier Meets his Great Grandparents

Xavier met his great grandparents Hunsaker on Sunday. Even though we are both sick they wanted us to come visit. After talking it over with my mom, I concluded that posterity may be the most important thing for great grandparents. My mom told me how much it had meant to her grandmother for my mom, though miles separated them, had brought my older sisters to my great grandfather's funereal.

This experience really got me thinking about my own experience with my great grandparents. Currently, none of my great grandparents are living. In fact, i do not recall ever meeting any of them. Though, if I go purely on memory, not looking up actual dates, I do believe my last living great grandparent died when I was five or six. I remember that it was shortly after my mom's dad had died and my mom was debating about whether or not to go back to Minnesota for the funeral. ...anyway, if I was truly six years old when she died, I would have liked to remember something about her and what she looked like.

On the other hand, I feel very fortunate to have gotten to know three of my four grandparents. I grew up just over a mile away from my Hunsaker grandparents. I used to ride my bike to their house whenever I wanted too. I went nearly daily in the summers when I was little. I went to enjoy their company as much as I went to enjoy my grandma's homemade chocolates. Also, my grandma used to babysit me when I would be home sick from school. I remember her reading me the book "Happy Birthday Monchichi Boy" (which I had memorized and often recited back to her) and discussing cherry flavored Tylenol and how awful it was. Whenever I sat by them at church I could count on my grandpa to give me a Lion's Mint.

My Stevens grandparents lived much farther away in Minnesota, and consequently I visited them much less often. However, my parents sacrificed so that our family of seven was able to visit once a year. Once a year we packed and piled into the van and drove roughly 24 hours from Idaho to Minnesota to visit my Steven's relatives and see where my mom grew up. Unfortunately, my grandpa died when I was five. Consequentially, my memories of him are slim and mostly associated with pictures I have seen. One memory, independent of pictures, is that his nickname for me was "Tuby" which, at the time, was endearing. My grandma, on the other hand, is still alive and well. I have gotten to know her surprisingly well for the the distance between us. After my second year of college I decided to move to Minnesota for the summer to try to get to know my Minnesota relatives better. So, in addition to working I spent my time with my grandma talking to her about her life and the life she had with my grandpa. I really treasured this time I was able to spend with her. My grandma is a doer and an adventurer. She is well into her 80s and still goes on at least one or two bus trips every year. She has even been out to Washington DC to visit me. --funny enough, she was also on a bus trip to DC when I came to DC back in high school. I think I may have gotten my travel bug from her.

Getting back to the topic of great grandparents... I wonder how much our little Xavier and other children will get to know their great grandparents. I am towards the end of the grandchildren on the Hunsaker side and am just getting started with having children, whereas some of my older cousins are already grandparents themselves. I was sent a five-generation picture several weeks ago of my grandparents, my oldest Aunt and Uncle, my cousin her husband, their daughter and son-in-law, and their new daughter. I was in awe. I thought to myself, "Wow! I don't know that Spencer and I will ever have a five-generation picture that includes us. Furthermore, while we are certainly able to take a four-generation picture I don't know that our grandchildren will get a chance to really know their great grand parents--or grandparents for that matter.

As I wrote previously, I really cherish growing up near my Hunsaker grandparents and am grateful for the time I have been able to spend with my grandma Stevens. I am sad when I think about how far away Xavier lives from his grandparents and great grandparents. I mean, I love DC and am very happy there. I am able to maintain a great relationship with my parents and parents-in-law via phone calls and occasional visits largely because I had relationships firmly established with them before we were separated by distance. However, I worry about Xavier's ability to begin and build a solid relationship with his grandparents because of the distance. Even if we visit grandparents in alternate years, one week every two years is just not very much. And this makes me sad. I don't know how Spencer did it growing up.

The First Sickness

Xavier is sick for the first time. In fact, him and I are both sick with terrible colds. I know that I am miserible, so I figure he must also be. He sounds like an old man hocking up a lung with every cough. I am so sad for him!

Laughter

There are smiles and laughter... and then there's Xavier's smile and laughter six seconds into this clip. The boy knows how to put on a show!



Cherry: "You're a silly boy!"
Xavier: "I know!"

Shake that Rattle and Roll!

Everyone was stoked to see Xavier today at church. Not that he noticed, considering he slept through the whole thing, cuddled up cozily with me in the sling. But hey, I’m not complaining. It made things a breeze.

I’ve been amazed at how much he’s changing from day to day. While Xavier has long held onto hair and shirts with an iron grip (and acquires a remarkable amount of lint in the creases of his hands) only recently has he started to hold objects that we put in his hand. We captured some rattle action earlier this week.

From November

Tonight we went to a welcome party for some neighbors who just moved in a few houses down. They have a 14-month-old named Javier and seem like great people. Actually, our whole block is filled with fabulous people, a number of whom have kids of various ages. We have so many people offering to pass on the things their kids have grown out of, or who will find clothes or toys at local rummage or garage sales and will just buy them for us and bring them over. Sometimes it pays to be the youngest on the block! Once again, no complaints here!

Xavier’s eight weeks old today and after the party he had another first: rolling from front to back over his left side! We caught his first roll on camera half-way through.

From November

Could he do it again? Like a pro!

From November

"No!"

My parents have been in town visiting us for the last few days. Monday night we played a quiz game--sort of an LDS version of Family Feud, only their were no teams, just my mom vs. my dad. I read the questions and hosted. Spencer sat next to Xavier and me on the couch, but was did his own thing. Anyway, after one question was asked my mom's response was immediately followed by what sounded like a very distinct "No!" coming from Xavier. Surprised, all four of us turned our heads toward Xavier in disbelief. Yet, it was true. Xavier had seemingly indicated to his grandma that her answer was incorrect and we all burst out laughing!

So... does this mean that I have a bright boy? I mean, he is one and a half months old and already spewing his first word. On the other hand, Xavier was wrong, my mom's answer had been right.

...but then again, does anyone what their baby's first word to be "NO!"? NO! - so let's call it a coo.

The Art of Baby Massage

I have been wanting to do baby massage ever since I read about it in Dr. Sears's "The Baby Book"--long before Xavier was born. However, there never seemed to be a good time to do it. I attempted it once when Xavier was about a week old, but it didn't really work too well. Xavier was way too upset and I just couldn't get past the beginning "Relax" cue.

Today, after getting the book out to read about other things, I again came across the section on Baby Massage. After reading through it again I decided to give it a try, this time making a few modifications from how I had attempted it previously.

I sat on the floor up against the coach and cradled Xavier on my lap lengthwise, on top of a warm towel, while Hypnobabies music played in the background. I used coconut oil from the small tub of oil I had received from a friend to use while I was pregnant. I began by asking Xavier for permission to massage him. I then gave a cue to relax by bicycling his legs and repeating the word "Relax" 3 or 4 times. I then proceeded to massage.

I began with his legs, as Dr. Sears instructs. Xavier responded with an approving smile. He seamed to be enjoying himself. I moved on to his abdomen. He began to get cranky. I debated whether to keep going in the same spot, move to another area, or simply stop and save the rest of the message for later. Well, I chose the second option. I quickly moved to his chest and then hands and arms, all the while he kept getting fussier and fussier. During the fussiness he even peed, soaking through the towel and my PJ pants.

I decided to stop the massage, wrap him up in the towel and just hold him for awhile, thinking that this would calm him down. However, wrong again! the fussiness turned into a total meltdown!

In the midst of taking care of Xavier during the melt down (diapering, clothing, rocking him, etc...) I managed to knock over the tub of coconut oil, which I didn't discover until several minutes later.

So, our first massage experience did not yield my planned result, but all in all not too bad. Perhaps next time I will stop after the legs and feet.

As for the oil, I managed to soak up some of it with a towel. Luckily, the remaining spot isn't so noticeable... well, let's see if Spencer notices when he gets home. ;)

Adventures in the Finances of Birth - or - Medical Absurdity

How many people actually look much at their Explanations of Benefits? With a new baby in the house, we've racked up quite a number of them in the filing drawer, so I thought I'd do a quick tally. (Thank goodness for Excel!)

Without question, this has been the most expensive year for healthcare that we've ever had. Since all this pre-natal care began right at the start of the year, it actually gives us a great year-to-date look, with two months left to go. So what have we seen so far?

Patient	Charges	Insurance	Co-pay	%Allowed	Paid
Cherry	$11,249.36	$4,993.40	$  65.00	44.97%	$5,058.40
Spencer	$  1,070.00	$   319.70	$200.00	48.57%	$   519.70
Xavier	$  1,408.10	$   736.72	$100.00	59.42%	$   836.72
TOTAL	$13,727.46	$6,049.82	$365.00	46.73%	$6,414.82

All told, pre-natal care, birth and the first two weeks of newborn care cost $5,895.12. The cost was higher because we had a more than a handful of ultrasounds, but lower because we gave birth at a birth center, not a hospital.

How does that compare? Based on a 2004 study of 43,000 births, we're actually on the low end thanks to our natural childbirthing ways (and despite our sonogram-happy OBs at the start, who we've discovered seem to diagnose a lot of those rare bicornuate uteruses). Nationally, the 9 months of prenatal care, the birth and 3 months of  newborn care average $7,737 for a vaginal delivery and about $11,000 for C-sections. Throw in 5 years of medical cost inflation and we look even better.

Clearly, we're grateful to have good insurance. The submitted charges were astronomical, and the negotiated insurance rate cut those down to by over 50% on average. My favorite example though was a lab test, which made me laugh when I saw the EOB: They charged $109. Insurance paid $5.50. Certainly health care providers inflate their charges deliberately because they know insurers are going to negotiate them down. This makes it all the more unfair for those without insurance however, who can get stuck with a ridiculous bill. Consider, if we had paid all submitted charges out of pocket, our childbirth costs would be running upwards of $13,000.

But fortunately, we didn't and so all things considered we got our money's worth, right? Let's take a closer look:

	Total	Employer	Self
Premiums	$10,391.16	$7,793.50	$2,597.66
Claims Paid	$6,049.82	$     -	$   365.00
Insurance Revenue	$ 4,341.34	$     -	$       -

Not counting Zipcar for those many trips out to the birth center, we actually paid very little out of pocket for birth-related care. Indeed, over half our co-pay amount for the year was for my two ENT visits, which were (again, ridiculously) categorized as "surgery". But we do pay 25% of the premiums, which adds up to a pretty penny, about $2,600 over the year. (Or 260,000 pennies.)

But BlueCross isn't hurting either: Even with another well-baby visit or two, they're still $4,000 ahead for the year off of us. You'd think that with margins like that (and the C-section rate unnecessarily moving north of 32%) they'd be encouraging tons of people toward birth centers and home births! What an easy way to fatten their bottom line!

Ahh, not so fast. As a labor & delivery nurse recently reminded me: "Spencer, you're forgetting who is in charge of insurance companies: doctors." The medical model of childbirth exploded after WWII alongside the expansion in health insurance coverage, and they have to keep their own in business too. Most of us would call it short-sighted to not pay for the cheap stuff, but cover the expensive. But it happens all over the medical world because lined up in front of the buffet of whatever the doctor orders, I have no incentive to question charges. After all, I don't see them unless I actually read through my EOBs, and most of my costs are already sunk. The only reason I even know that my salary is $8,000 lower than it might otherwise be due to the health benefit is because my employer actually clearly outlines how much they pay for me. (And not just for health insurance, but payroll taxes and retirement too, which add up to quite a substantial sum.)

For all the good that insurance and modern medicine have done, they've also created an industry almost wholly unaccountable to market forces. It's bad economics, but for those of us lucky enough to still have decent coverage, it's easy to forget or overlook how much it's truly costing us, and that in some ways, it's a curse.

My neighborhood may teem with conspicuous consumption, but I'm quite happy with my $6,000 baby. After all, he's priceless. (And he wasn't a flea market find nor a blue light special at K-Mart!)

 

Playing in the Play Gym

Voila! Xavier has started to play and interact with us and other objects. Playing in the play gym is now part of the daily routine. (The word routine being used in the loosest sense of the word).

Story Time with Van Gogh

Today, after Xavier had been satiated, we sat down together for his first story time. We chose "In the Garden with Van Gogh", a nice read for a month-old boy. However, Xavier looks perplexed at the authors use of artistic license. Nevertheless, a great read all around! ...and Xavier even looked at a couple of the pictures!

It's autumn time, It's autumn time, the leaves are falling down!

This is for you Trina!

Today, as on most days, Xavier and I went on a walk. Upon leaving the house we were caught in a leaf storm! Yes! A leaf storm! Beautiful yellow leaves showered down upon us in the most glorious display of Autumn charms. One leaf landed on little Xavier's head.

Fun Size

Today I taught Xavier about "Fun Size" M&Ms. Clearly, from the picture you can see that he is just as thrilled about Fun Size as I am. Really, what is Fun Size? It means, big enough for two bites. I don't know about others, but two bites are not "fun"--a two pound bag is fun.

One month... and counting

I can't believe it has been one month since the birth of our little Xavier! Xavier Bastiaan Geo Clark was born on September 20, 2009 weighing in at 8lbs .5oz and 21 inches long. I don't know how he fit in me! Per the advice of a friend, I am taking Xavier's picture with his little dolly over the next while to show this little boy's changing size. Above is a picture of Xavier when he was born. Below, is a picture of him on his one month mark. At his one month check up he weighed in at 9lbs 5oz and 22 inch long. ...Not bad!

Xavier: The Month in Pictures

Those of you who know me well know that I have always been interested in the small daily changes. It is amazing to think that I have achieved my current appearance one day at a time from birth. Anyway, I tried to capture this once by taking a photo of myself everyday for several months. Well, as I was 19 at the time there were really no dramatic changes; in fact, one might argue that there were no noticeable differences--other than my hairstyle. I concluded that taking a picture a day from birth would be much more interesting.

...and lucky me, I have a brand new baby with whom to do this!

Xavier turned one month old on October 20, and so I have decided to sum up this month in pictures. We have a picture from everyday of his life, minus a few. I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I do!

In the beginning...

The story of our family started in late 2006 when Cherry and Spencer met over a shared love of French and social/anthropological interests. Our love blossomed through the cold winter and continued to grow as together we explored our thoughts, personalities, wishes dreams and the world around us over the next several months. In summer we were engaged and in October 2007 were married. Since then, our adventures have taken us far and wide. From Coast to Coast, north to south, urban to rural, warm to cold, desert to rainforest, mountain to the sea and even underground we've travelled together. From our lovely District of Columbia we've traversed 22 states and 6 provinces in addition to countless adventures at home. At the start of 2009 we learned that we'd have a new travel companion joining us and on Sept. 20 he arrived: our son Xavier. The pictures show but briefly from whence we've come to where we are now. Herein is a record of our journey as it continues.